What a week it was. Confusing, concerning and uncertain about what lies ahead for half the nation and jubilant for the other. I fall into the former category and I’m taking time to process, reflect and regroup. Giving oneself grace is perhaps the singular most requisite right now. As always, at such times, I look to the garden for guidance. Leaning into nature always heals and instructs.

Taking my concerns one by one, the garden is showing me how to understand, what to accept/take action and, sort through my emotions in order to think calmly and constructively. Most importantly, it teaches to have faith that my efforts to do good will help in the larger context to improve the world.

First and foremost, accept loss/failure. As a gardener, I’m all too familiar with losing plants or the dissipation of key features – watching them destroyed by weather or my own fault in neglecting to do due diligence of their needs. Acknowledging the loss is key. It is the first step to healing, to make right. It is how we take responsibility to move forward. Just as we learn to get past the loss of a plant(s) and replant with new ones, repair or replace a structure, redesign a bed, we must now assess the situation and decide what can be done. Feeling bad, sad, angry, fearful and hurt is normal. What we do about it is what defines who we are. And the garden teaches that the only way forward is to believe that better will come but, only if we participate in making that happen. This means reaching out to neighbors, the community and finding ways to engage with each other to lift us all up.

In no way am I trying to make this seem simple because it is not. This preliminary move is perhaps the hardest. To overcome the division and distance between ourselves is a huge ask. I struggle with that. But I know I must make my best effort. One person at a time. It is the only way to effect positive change. It’s going to require patience, forbearance and fortitude at an unprecedented level. However, this much I believe – it can be done. Just as gardens have been slowly and painstakingly recreated and resurrected from utter devastation by floods and fires to new grace and glory, we as a nation must do the very hard work of coming together.

On my part, after I have taken the time to cool my outrage, soothe my heart, repair frayed nerves, I will strengthen my resolve and take courage to be the person I want to be. It will happen over some time and I will be patient with myself. After all, if I cannot overcome how I feel, how can I expect as much from anyone else? My initial efforts have started with focus on primarily my immediate world – to be a better neighbor. Since the pandemic, there have been a number of new families I have yet to meet. I’m considering how best to connect – a holiday open house for all? Or drop off home-baked cookies and/or holiday cards to connect with the new neighbors and reconnect with the old? Just as new plants are welcomed into my garden and helped to assimilate with the others or new features introduced to enhance the garden as a whole, I intend to do the work of bringing people together. Comfort is found in the company of good neighbors.

Note: There are many other lessons pertinent to our current conditions and I will share them in the coming weeks. Change takes time so lets be patient with ourselves and each other. Take it one step at a time. The journey will be arduous so lets do what we can to stay healthy and strong in mind, body and spirit. We are in this together.

Here are images from 2020 – another very difficult, scary and uncertain time fraught with division. We got through that didn’t we? Most photos are from my garden, a few are from my forays elsewhere –

(c) 2024 Shobha Vanchiswar

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